Although I had found a church home and was feeling so inspired by the sermons, I still felt like I had a shallow and immature relationship with God when compared to other. As I watched how comfortable other people were praising God it appeared that they were so strongly moved by God that they couldn't hold it in. I started to wonder if I wasn’t enough or if I was doing something wrong because I had never had a personal moment with God. I wondered if God even heard my prayers or was listening to what was on my heart. I began focusing on my downfalls as a Christian and wondered if those were the reasons I hadn’t had a moment with God. My faults were numerous and include falling asleep during my prayers, a drifting prayer mind, simplistic and repetitive prayers, i struggle to memorize bible verses, sometimes I feel that the bible is over my head, I haven't served others, I've never heard God's voice, and I pray for God’s will, but deep down inside I desperately want the selfish miracle.

In today’s world it is so easy to compare ourselves to others in so many ways. I think if we are all honest, we have probably all had thoughts similar to this that hold us back from fully experiencing God’s love for us. I’ve learned that although I may be feeling less than, God is not comparing me to anyone. He knows everything about me and knew it from the day I was born. What looks small in my eyes may be precious in His. My relationship with God isn’t a contest, it’s a covenant. And the beauty is that He delights in the one-of-a-kind story we’re writing together, flaws and all, without a single side-by-side comparison.